Lying About Your Age

I know what you're thinking, lying is bad, blah blah blah, but BEAR WITH ME...

I’m reminded of my inferior status as a single, 40 year old woman constantly. 

Targeted ads serve me freezing-your-egg deals I'll never afford, ‘empowering’ getaways, anti-ageing potions... and personal training.

Why is it always cishet men wearing t-shirts two sizes too small, pitching personal training scams to women my age? What the fuck do you know about a woman’s body, Jaxon? You’ve never found the clit, let alone survived the luteal phase.

The solution? Change your birth year on social media apps. Lie about your age to Zuckerberg. Delete the apps. Buy a blonde wig,  book a one-way flight to Antarctica, and never return. Never let them know your next move.